I went to the US Sumo Open 2026

I went on Laura Michet's recommendation and had a pretty good time! Those dudes sure can grapple some other dudes!

I've never been much for going to sporting events, but the seats were pretty cheap, the beer was acceptably priced, and the crowd was having a great time. The bouts can end in seconds, so it's almost nonstop matches for the entire six-ish hours of the event.

I don't know how previous years shook out, but there wasn't a single Japanese competitor and a good chunk of the foreign wrestlers listed on the program couldn't show due to, as the commentator put it, "the current geopolitical situation." Alas. The ones who did show were pretty cool, though. You can watch the entire event here:

Some highlights, IMO:

In the Lightweight prelims, Makhmud from Uzbekistan just directly picked up his opponent and strolled out of the ring. If not for Wlater's matches later on, I'd say this felt like the most comically dominant win I saw all day.

The announcer described Danny earlier as being skilled with thrusting attacks, but he proceeded to lose that match. In this match against Maxim, he makes a comeback by spamming some Hundred-Hand Slap shit. Wild.

Nomin (so far undefeated) is declared the winner, but the judges review the footage for several minutes; the crowd clearly thinks Brandon is the actual winner. Head Judge Ichinojo calls for a dramatic rematch, which Nomin wins at the cost of receiving an injury that puts him out of the rest of the tournament.

Maxim proceeds to win his match against Nomin and the subsequent tiebreaker against Nomin for Gold by default. Nomin is awarded second place while technically remaining undefeated.

The Gold Medal match for Light Heavyweight, with Emilio from California against Wlater the Venezuelan Champion. Wlater has been undefeated the whole tournament and proceeds to school on Emilio seemingly effortlessly.

Zorig, the lightest competitor in Heavyweight at 257 pounds and the only one present who did Pro Sumo in Japan, goes up against Matthew, the heaviest competitor at 562 pounds, with both so far undefeated.

Zorig is up against Gilberto. If Zorig wins, he goes for a tiebreaker for Gold against Angel, who gave him his only defeat so far (at around 4:10:30). Cranking up the drama is that Angel took a knee injury in his previous win and Gilberto is his older brother. Can he shield his brother from the rematch? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!

Last time on Dragon Ball Z, Zorig defeated Gilberto, forcing a rematch against Angel for the Heavyweight Gold Medal. Angel's got a hurt knee, but this is Zorig's second bout in a row. If this wasn't the longest match the entire tournament, it sure felt like it.

In the Openweight division where everyone's against everyone, Lightweight David basically does a damn suplex.

Lightweight Makhmud (161 pounds) goes up against Matthew (562 pounds).

If you're in the Greater Los Angeles Area, maybe check out next year's event! Seems neat!

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