Last time, we made the entire party stroke our sword while we lamented society. This time, we're going to kill that Dio guy again, but only after fighting his other lieutenant.
Mask, you were pretty alright for the brief period of time you were in the party. Midler... good riddance.
Polnareff: Who's this freak? He's definitely not normal! Can we just kill him!? Joseph: Polnareff! Let's not jump to conclusions. D'arby: My name is D'arby... Terence T. D'arby. I'm the younger brother of the D'arby you fellows incapacitated not long ago. Jotaro: !! D'arby: Now... Shall we make our way inside? Please, take off your jackets.
Indeed, D'arby lost thanks to his cat this time, which is before you even get his name. Reactivity!
Joseph:He was trying to cheat? D'arby:Oh, certainly. My brother never gambled honestly. Polnareff:All I remember is him losing a bet normally... Bradio:So he just screwed up that badly? D'arby:So it seems...
The rest of this continues as normal until we get the choice to follow D'arby into his weird hole. Rather, we simply do not get the choice this time...
Abdul: ! That's Mr. Joestar's voice! He's talking while in freefall! Joseph: If you don't hear from us in 10 minutes... Burn this mansion down! Got it? Abduuuuuul... Abdul: Mr. Joestaaaaaaar!! Bradio:What should I do!? Joseph:Be carefuuulll.... Polnareeeefffff....
We cut elsewhere in the mansion...
Dio: The Joestars... Truly believe that if they die to save that woman, then their lives wouldn't be wasted. I don't know about the dog and that boy I've yet to meet, but Kakyoin and the other two... What were their names? Vanilla Ice:(Should I tell him? Or am I being tested...) Dio: ...Ah, yes... Abdul and Polnareff are set on killing me even if they die trying... They believe that running from me, Dio, is tantamount to running from their destiny.... Such foolishness... Vanilla Ice: ......... Dio: But foolish as they may be, those thoughts have some merit. D'arby, despite having sworn his loyalty, was not prepared to die for me... If he was, that battle may have had a different outcome... D'arby will never understand why he lost... Vanilla Ice: ......... Dio: Ice. Look at the wound on my neck. With the blood of just one more person, I can heal this wound, making Jonathan Joestar's body completely and truly mine. Vanilla Ice: ......... Dio: Ice... Are you willing to sacrifice your life-blood to me? Vanilla Ice: Yes... It would be an honor.
Vanilla Ice is named after rapper Vanilla Ice, best known for his work on 1991's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.
Dio: At least use the door when you leave... His is the Stand that completely disappears from this world.
If this is the same room that we go into with Nukesaku later, then Dio had that door replaced in like, mere hours.
Polnareff: ......... Abdul: That goes for you too, Iggy. Don't take it the wrong way. This whole journey's purpose is for us to defeat Dio. Our own safety has to come first... So if I am wounded... You must promise to leave me behind. If we all die trying to save one person in trouble, nothing will come of it. Both: ..................... Polnareff: ...Yeah... Got it... Abdul. If you come out alive, treat me to a nice dinner. Abdul: ...I'll buy Iggy's as well. Iggy:woof Bradio: Is that a promise? Polnareff: All right! Let's go! Funky Party! Abdul! Iggy!
Abdul: These flames can detect life. It can sense movement, breathing, and Stand energy... Let's follow it out of the maze. Polnareff: Why are there 6 flames? Abdul: To indicate front and back, left and right, and up and down. It can find anything in a 15 meter radius. Mr. Joestar was pulled underground... So let's go downwards.
Polnareff: What!? Bradio: An enemy!? Iggy: (Sniff! Sniff sniff!)
Polnareff: Woah! Bradio: A person inside the wall!? Polnareff: H-hey! Who the hell is this guy!? Abdul: Eh!? Look around you, Polnareff!
The namesake of Kenny G (and his Stand Tenore Sax) is the noted saxophonist of the same name. The real Kenny G is best known for the song Going Home, played widely throughout China to signal the end of the business day.
The text on the wall in Charlie Rich's mansion back in Update 58 was a reference to this scene.
It's a bit hard to parse with the limited sprites, but the idea is that Abdul shoved Polnareff and Iggy out of the way, and then Bradio shoved Abdul out of the way.
Bradio: ...Abdul!? Are you okay!? Iggy: -pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant- Polnareff: Abduuuuuuuuuuuul!!
Vanilla Ice: ...Tch. Missed... Polnareff: Hey, you!! Is this your doing!? Iggy: Nngh... Vanilla Ice: That's right. Inside my Stand's mouth... Well, even I don't know where it goes to... It's a dimension of pitch darkness... I sent his flank there. You two are next... I have to change your minds... about defeating Lord Dio...
^ This screenshot right here is why JoJo's Bizarre Adventure rules, I think.
Bradio: B-but! Polnareff: With those wounds, he'll just hold us back! This time... It's my turn to protect Abdul! Go! Funky Party!! Rrrraaaaaaauuuuuuugghh!! Vanilla Ice: ......!? What...?
Bradio: I'll have to hide him in the greenery for now... That enemy could take out Polnareff and Iggy in the next instant... Abdul... I've called a Speedwagon Foundation ambulance by radio. If I don't come back... Burn the mansion before sundown...
In the original manga, Abdul gets straight-up vaporized by Vanilla Ice during the previous scene. Saving him here proves we're currently on his FP route.
Polnareff: Funky Party! Let's go! We need to get upstairs!! How's Abdul!? Is he all right!? Bradio: (...Abdul's right outside... If I tell him he's alive, he might be in danger...! I'm sorry about this, Polnareff...)
That's right, folks. Going on Abdul's route means we gaslight Polnareff into thinking his own recklessness got Abdul killed a second time.
Bradio: O-okay! Iggy: -pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant- Polnareff: (I've got it! He probably needs to make a hole in the wall to get in here! Now that I know that, I'll kill him the moment he shows his face!) Polnareff: Come out wherever you are! Bastaaaaaaaaard!! I'll cut you to pieces! Killing Abdul has only made my Chariot faster in its rage! Iggy: Nnnnnnngh... Bradio: (Where... where will he attack from....!?)
Polnareff: Whaaaat!? He was... in the cracks...! Both: !? Polnareff:Chario-...!
Polnareff: Funky Party! Iggy! Over here! Vanilla Ice: So... You hid yourselves in this rubble? How utterly pointless... Polnareff can't get very far with that foot. ...He must be under one of these rocks...
Vanilla Ice: Please be careful! Polnareff... the dog... and the other human are hiding here somewhere. I implore you, let me take care of this... There's no need for you to be here. Dio: ............
Polnareff: Damn it, damn it, damn it! He saw right through it! Bradio: Shoot... I knew he wouldn't mistake a face that close up...! Vanilla Ice: ......There's sunlight in this room... The real Dio would never show his face here. Polnareff: Iggy!!
Vanilla Ice: The real Lord Dio trusts me! He said it himself! He would never come down to the 2nd floor! Never! Polnareff:Mayb- Vanilla Ice:NEVER! Bradio: Iggy! Polnareff: (This is bad! He's gonna kill Iggy! He's gonna send him to the dark dimension) Vanilla Ice: How dare you! You damn dog! You made me harm Lord Dio!
Bradio: !? Polnareff: (W... what!? He punched him! ...He has the power to just erase him! Why do that, if not to kill him!?) Iggy: Rrugh... Vanilla Ice: How dare you! How dare you impersonate Lord Dio! How dare you make me attack him! I'll kick you to death! You stupid fucking animaaaaal!!
Polnareff: S... Stop it...! Polnareff: (Vanilla Ice... This guy's crazy! He's pissed off because he attacked the fake Dio!? The real dark dimension is inside his heart! It's nothing but a pitch black void in there!) Vanilla Ice: How's that!? How's that!? Take thaaaaaat!! Polnareff: Stop iiiiiitttttt!! Vanilla Ice! Vanilla Ice: What's thaaaat!? I'll kick the shit out of you, too!
If Polnareff doesn't already have this move, this is where he learns it; specifically it's when Vanilla Ice makes the comment about how Silver Chariot suddenly has more range than before. It's his only Long range attack.
Eh. S'okay.
I'd forgotten at this point that I'd cranked up Bradio's stats to fight Ultimate Being Cars, rendering all the normal bosses fairly trivial. Oops.
Vanilla Ice is meant to be pretty dangerous, but he's also extremely vulnerable to a couple status effects, specifically Berserk (which makes narrative sense). If he's only swinging physical attacks then he can't bust out his stronger moves.
Vanilla Ice also one of those annoying enemies who warps to ?-Range, becoming untargetable.
Yes, by all means, enter Short range where Deep Purple has its maximum damage capacity.
If you don't beat him here, things go according to the manga where Iggy uses his last breath to fake-out Vanilla Ice long enough for Polnareff to land the final blow.
Polnareff: Open your eyes, Iggy! I'm gonna get you to a hospital! Iggy: ......... Polnareff: ......Iggy? Hey... Hey, Iggy! Hey! Bradio: ......... Polnareff: Iggyyyyyyyyyyyy!!
Bradio: Iggy... Bradio:You stole my shawarma once... but it WAS pretty funny... Polnareff: .........Anyway... I need to climb those stairs and get to Dio... We don't have time to sit and cry our eyes out... C'mon, Funky Party!! Bradio: ...Yeah... Got it. But first... Here's a handkerchief... Polnareff: .........Ngh... Waaah... -sob- Waaah!
With Vanilla Ice firmly put down, we move to the scene that reconnects with the D'arby route.
Bradio: T-that's... Dio!! Polnareff: So we finally meet again... Dio: Congratulations, Polnareff. You've finally avenged your sister and managed to cross the Far East to get here without dying... Polnareff: If you want to give me a present, then give me your life! Dio: Hm hm hm... You get one chance. If you wish to join me, step down... Your friend may come as well. There's no need to squander such a young life. Bradio: !? Dio: However, if you wish to die... Then climb the stairs. Polnareff: ...When I first met you, I felt fear from the very depths of my heart. I submitted to your cursed strength... Thus began my life as a lapdog... A fate worse than death!! A life where satisfaction was synonymous to being used by you...
We already know now that The World can stop time, which means Dio actually could have killed Polnareff and Bradio at any time. He is simply so smug that he'd rather fuck with them like this first.
Bradio: ......!! Polnareff: What's going on!? I definitely went up just now! Bradio: I'm... I'm right where I started again... Polnareff: W-what did he do!? Is this a Stand!? Is it possible... Is it Dio's Stand, The World!? Bradio: W... what's happening!? Dio: Polnareff... and... Bradio, was it? Have you ever thought... about what humans live for?
At least it's not Human Instrumentality. Feels like a genuine 50/50 coin flip sometimes for an anime villain's plan to just be Human Instrumentality.
Bradio:I've got to at least be prime, not choice... Polnareff: ......Nngh... Bradio: (This pressure... It's chilling my spine...! It feels like every breath could be my last...) Polnareff: (Could... could he be right!? Could my body have submitted to him against my mind's wishes!? This is bad... I have to hold on! ...Abdul... Iggy... Give me strength!)
Now we've properly caught up to where the paths reconnect, and I can feel okay about fast forwarding until we get to new stuff.
We climb the stairs and return to where Nukesaku opens the coffin.
Joseph: (Yes, I've known him well... Known him from the very time I was born... Even Jotaro, since he took his first breath, knew of this destiny... As Joestars, we knew the day would come where we would meet Dio...) Kakyoin: (I have no regrets... This journey up until now... The events that are about to occur... I won't regret any of it.) Polnareff: (Right now... This sensation... I am in the light... Dio is the dark! Mr. Joestar is the light! It's as clear as night and day! Though I'm injured, I'm overflowing with courage. I am on the path of light!)
All 18 Player Stands have their own monologue here, and there are also variations based on certain Chaos Mode events we didn't get.
On Abdul's route we're forced to flee with Joseph and Kakyoin, like Cascada did.
WILSON PHILLIPS 2028
still probably less problematic than the current administration
We could absolutely just kill Dio here with minimal fuss, but that wouldn't let us see Abdul's special sequence, and we can't have that.
There's also one more special event we can only get by going through the game in the particular way we did this time...
Bradio:I knew I paid that Mask guy for something!
Every turn during this fight only, there's a one-in-three chance he snipes at Dio from afar. It's pretty piddly damage, ranging from 10 to 50, but it's free.
Alas, we still need to flee here for Abdul's sake.
You can even see the extra sprite in the alleyway. Fun detail.
If you've only watched the David Production JoJo anime, it's worth going back to watch the 1993 OVA by Studio A.P.P.P. (not the 2000 one). It's got a distinctly horror-adjacent vibe to it compared to the newer anime's energetic bombast.
Alright, keep it moving.
TOO FAR REWIND
Jotaro: Finally... -pant- -pant- That was close... Too close... But I finally did it... I got him... Dio: How... This is... impossible! My legs... They're... powerless... I can't stand up! Jotaro: ............... Dio: My head is killing me... I-I think I'm gonna puke...! U-urgh... How could this be!? Why do I, Dio, feel so horribly ill!? Is it because... that Jotaro damaged my head so considerably!?
I kinda wish Dio had extra vulnerability to fire in the upcoming boss fight. Let's just collectively pretend that he does, for narrative effect.
Dio: U... unununu... I just... have to get over there... I can make it this far... Unununu... Time... resumes...
I don't know that I would've included "unununu," that reads to me as just generic grunts of exertion rather than an actual vocalization like "ora" or "mudah."
Jotaro once again pummels Dio so hard he flies offscreen.
Jotaro: Abdul...! Bradio: ...I-if Abdul hadn't come... I'd be a goner, too... Dio:That Vanilla Ice... all he could kill was A DOG!?
The event scripting here causes Abdul to take 200 HP damage and start Bleeding when he walks onstage... but also fully heals the party immediately before the boss fight? That second part might be the R Patch's doing.
Regardless, this is one of the easiest versions of the Dio boss. We're catching him off-guard and half-beaten, so he starts with the Fear status and is down 2000 HP along with The World.
Bradio is still super tanky from the Ultimate Being Cars incident.
This particular Time Stop attack isn't too common! I'm glad we get to see it.
Like Pet Shop's ice missiles and some other adds we've seen throughout, the knives are considered separate enemies who have a single self-destruct attack. There are actually four separate "Knives" enemies to account for the different sprites.
Also, because Jotaro's equipped with Star Platinum: The World, he's immune to Dio's Time Stop. Dio is accordingly immune to Jotaro's.
Nice.
Time is stopped, most of the party is completely vulnerable, and Dio can't do shit. I'm picturing him futilely wailing on Bradio with full power with absolutely zero impact while Jotaro looks on confused.
Dio drops in the most ignoble way possible...
Reduced to zero from a damage-over-time effect, courtesy of Abdul's flames. Still in the stopped time, no less! Dude snaps from shouting his Stand's name in a battle-cry to flat on the ground in a single frame.
Jotaro:Nice job. Abdul:He put up even less of a fight than you did in your jail cell. Jotaro:Heh. Give me a break...
Bradio: Yeah... Joseph: Dio has taken so much... So many lives... So many people... Jotaro: Too many to count... So many things we'll never get back... Joseph: Yes... Far too many... So many important people... That which we've lost can't be compared to the safety of our planet... But... If not for them... If not for them, we wouldn't be here now...
Abdul:A third of my internal organs no longer exist in this dimension... I would like to return to the hospital... Polnareff:I no longer have toes on my left foot... Jotaro:I had to literally kill and revive myself back there. Joseph:I guess a hole in my windpipe is pretty minor in comparison! Bradio:.........
Bradio:.........I never scored.
Moving on...
Vins: Oh... So you know of me? Then you also know what I am, no doubt? Please hand that book over to me... If you don't... I'll turn you both into zombies. Alicia: Berlin... Berlin: .........Damn it!! Vins: Hm hm... Now that's a good girl. In return, I won't turn you into zombies... I'll let you die with dignity. Berlin: What!? Alicia: .........Just who are you? Vins: ......Funny you ask... Well, I suppose I may as well tell you one interesting tidbit before I kill you.
Vins, we simply wouldn't have any issue with you if you decided to go after only white supremacists instead of, uh, this entire reality.
Vins: Fate ordains that Dio must die today. Fate ordains that Jotaro must find the book. And fate ordains that "he" will restart it... Berlin: H-how do you know all this!? Can you tell the future...!? Vins: It's a long story... This whole time, I've been "observing" destiny. That's Hanoi Rocks' true power... To observe the course of fate... From this world, to the next, to the one afterwards... Berlin:How is that possible!? Vins:Do you know what a phenakistoscope is? Alicia:N-no... Vins:-sigh-
Alicia:Um... what IS a phenakistoscope...? Berlin:(whisper, whisper)
Vins: My poor Wes, who was dead before dawn... I'll use the mask to make both of us vampires! But I was dropped off in 1989... A moment too late. I figured I could turn the phenakistoscope once more and try again, but I couldn't do so. There's another observer in this warped world... Someone whose purpose is to see this world run its destined course from start to finish... And because of them, I cannot leave this place...
Bradio:(That about sum it up?) Cascada:(Yeah.) Bradio:(Okay cool.)
Alicia: Bradio! Vins: Rip their bodies to shreds! Hanoi Rocks!! Bradio: Shroud them! Deep Purple!
Alright, no need to belabor this.
I guess we should use our new toy at least once, too.
Each stage of the Emerald Sword basically activates a different skill from elsewhere in the game. For example, after Joseph fills it with Ripple, the sword's move is equivalent to the Metal Silver Overdrive skill. The Godly Emerald Sword without the Red Stone uses the Iai Slash attack that several bosses have used against us.
At this maximum level, the Sword of St. George uses Cars' Light Blades skill, which does heavy damage on all enemies with the chance to OHKO them or inflict Bleed.
...I mean, if you were playing like a normal person and not cheating like crazy, this'd be pretty great for an unlimited use item.
I've never had this option before! It's Chaos Mode only, and requires you not only to have the GER Disc in your inventory but to have a certain amount of Surplus Fate Energy.
GER refers to "Gold Experience Requiem", the final power-up for Part 5's protagonist. If you asked me what exactly it does, I don't think I'd necessarily have a good answer for you? But the generally accepted one-line explanation is that it can "nullify" anything, including abstract concepts like "willpower" or even death itself. It's why Diavolo is wandering around in every map, dying over and over but never really dying.
Running up on the character limit there...
...If I'm interpreting this right, we just sent Vins to some kind of never-ending sub-existence where her infant son is before her eyes but forever unreachable? That's... a lot crueler than I thought it would be. Alternatively, maybe being together forever with her precious child is what she always wanted in the first place.
As ever, Gold Experience Requiem makes no goddamn sense.
Steel: That's my cue... This is goodbye for me as well... Thank you... Bradio... When we go back, we won't retain any memories of what happened in this world, but... my feelings for you... will be etched into my soul... Bradio:We didn't really talk much, but I did appreciate it. Steel:No problem. I knew you could handle things on your own. Bradio:Well, shucks... Steel: When I disappear... This world's timeline will also return to normal... Even I don't know what will happen, but I'll say this...
Bradio:...Universe dangles a literal vampire MILF in front of me then yanks her away... this sucks.
Joseph: So you're sure you want to go back to France, Polnareff? You don't have family there... Why not come with me to New York? Polnareff: Mr. Joestar. Regardless of where my family is, France is still my homeland... I have many fond memories there that I'd like to relive... No matter where life takes me, I'm bound to return there eventually. It's home. But if you need anything, give me a call. Wherever I am in the world, I'll come running. Joseph: ...It's gonna be lonely. Polnareff: We had some trying times... But it's been fun. Since I was with you... it was a great adventure. Joseph: Yeah... It's been fun... I really mean it...
Hol Horse:Whew... glad they didn't notice us... Boingo:My... my... pre... predictions are... 100% accurate! Hol Horse:Alright, Boingo... Once your brother's better, we'll hit the stock market! Boingo:.........I-I never.... thought about that...
And now it's time for the Abdul epilogue!
This means that Bradio went back to Japan the next day after Jotaro and Joseph, not that he flew back to Egypt the day after landing in Japan. Ambiguous language!
Abdul:I am sure that even years from now, I'll remember EVERY DETAIL. Bradio:Why do you keep saying it like that...? Abdul:It's only natural to recall life or death situations, is it not?
Abdul: .........Hey, Bradio. Bradio: What is it? Abdul: ...I don't care how many years it takes... Someday... come see me again in Cairo. And bring everyone with you! Bradio: ......Yeah! Of course I will!
Bros to the end.
Bradio: And yet it hasn't even been 6 months since then... Jotaro: Is Abdul coming to pick us up? Joseph: With any luck...
Bradio: I told you we'd come and visit! Jotaro: Sorry to bother you. Abdul: Jotaro! Funky Party! Polnareff! It's good to see you're all well! Joseph: Sorry you've gotta put up with us some more! We're really just coming for sightseeing this time, I swear! Abdul: Well, it's a busy time of year, so it certainly won't be boring. Bradio: I'm looking forward to that nice dinner you promised us, Abdul! Polnareff: Yeah, you'd better not have forgotten!
Playthrough No. 2 over! We did it!!
As you clear the game more times, the characters in the Dev Room rotate and start having new snippets of dialogue.
Too bad you don't have more going on other than being a Big Scary Guy.
We'll learn more about Freu soon.
Way ahead of you!
Also way ahead of you! Take that!!
AND YOU!!!
There's a Hol Horse ending somewhere in there, but it has a laundry list of strict requirements.
Let's talk to Steel one last time.
And now, finally and truly, the second playthrough is over. But the Let's Play still isn't, not quite. I've got just a couple more updates worth of content to show off, like... what if we want to save everybody, not just Abdul?
