Last time, we got attacked by a second mob of bunny girls and met up with Robert Edward O. Speedwagon. This time, we'll once again cover the battle with Hol Horse and J'Geil.
Polnareff: You haven't lost a sister! You couldn't possibly understand my feelings!! Bradio:...... Abdul: ...You selfish...! Polnareff: I'm not gonna take that from a man who ran with his tail between his legs as soon as Dio so much as glanced at him! Abdul: ! ......What did you say? Polnareff: Don't touch me! I'm not taking orders from you just because Bradio got lucky enough to beat me in Hong Kong. Bradio:I-I don't know if I'd say "lucky"... Abdul:Forget Bradio, I beat you first! We all saw it!! Polnareff:I hadn't taken off my armor! It doesn't count and you know it! Abdul: You ungrateful little...!! Polnareff: Ooh, did that hit a nerve!? Don't forget, you're the one who threw the first stone! You're always trying to boss others around... Well, this time I'm not gonna take it, Abdul! Abdul: ! ...............That's it!!
Joseph: What did you say!? Bradio: I can't leave him alone in such a dangerous situation! Once he gets his revenge, I'll bring him back. Kakyoin: But you'll be in danger too, Bradio! Jotaro: This is for Polnareff to deal with himself. We shouldn't interfere. Bradio: I know... I understand that. But I can't let him get into trouble. If anything happens, I'll call you. Abdul:I thought you were more level-headed than this. Bradio:When I think about if anything happened to my own little sister back home... I would be just as possessed with impotent rage as Polnareff. Abdul:Even so... Bradio:Or if anything happened to my mom... Both:!! Kakyoin:Moms... I see your point... Joseph: Okay... I understand. Just be careful, got it?
Bradio: I know. I won't interfere, I promise. But there might be other Stand users waiting with him! If so, you're going to need a hand! Polnareff: ......Are you sure? All right... But don't push it.
Let's fast forward a bit past some dialogue that's identical to last time.
Cascada:(If only someone here had a LONG-RANGE Stand...) Bradio:How do tanks handle chemical warfare? Cascada:(okay actually you might have this)
Polnareff: Tch! I don't need your help! Hol Horse: Hm! You've got nerve, kid. You jumped in right when I had him... I'll just have to kill two birds with one stone! Bradio: Get out of the way, Polnareff! The bullet's coming back! Deep Purple!
Last time, Cascada got shot in the head by Hol Horse, dying instantly.
...This time, we still get shot in the head by Hol Horse, dying instantly.
Since Cascada was a lady, Hol Horse's dialogue was a bit more contrite back then. But Hol Horse is a Southern white man so he's a-okay with killing Asians as long as they're men.
Hol Horse: Sorry! Life always ends quicker than one expects. That's just how it is! Rarely if ever do you get a chance to say goodbye... Heh! Thought you knew that already... Kakyoin: Bradio came here because he was worried about you. We can't fight blindly... We still don't know how their Stands work! We have to get away! Polnareff: Funky Party was stabbed in the back... My sister was murdered as raped... And now... you're asking me to run!? Kakyoin: If you keep fighting this way, you'll die! Bradio said as much himself!
As before, Kakyoin blasts Polnareff into the truck and drives off, leaving the 7th Stand User in the dirt.
The rest of the Hanged Man fight continues pretty much normally from here on.
A quick Chaos Mode gag, though. The new portrait is of Illuso, a villain of the week from Part 5 who ambushed the heroes in Pompeii.
Illuso's Stand, Man in the Mirror, did in fact create an entire mirror world he could drag people into to kill them, making this entire conversation particularly funny in retrospect.
Okay now it all continues as before For Real.
Yep, yep. All same.
I've been waiting for this.
Joseph: Don't waste your energy, Funky Party! You're at a hospital in a Speedwagon Foundation retreat. You were shot by an enemy Stand user. Even though you were shot in the head, your body lurched back when you were stabbed and the bullet just grazed the skin. Bradio: ...I see... I'm lucky to be alive... ! ...That's right! Polnareff! Is he okay!? Joseph: Hey, settle down! You'll reopen your wounds! He's fine. I just got a call from Kakyoin. He says Polnareff managed to finally get his revenge. Bradio: I-I see... That's a relief... Abdul: I'm sorry, Funky Party. If I'd just been able to stop him, you never would have been hurt so... Bradio: ...It was my decision to go after Polnareff. You have nothing to apologize for, Abdul.
I had to include this screenshot if only because I think having Jotaro say, "For Christ's sake," is quite silly.
Bradio:You think I'm going to stick around so you can all tell me over and over again how much I suck? After I got shot in the head!? Joseph: ......I see. I suppose it can't be helped... Abdul: ...The Foundation members will help escort you back to Japan. We'll explain things to your family, so don't worry about that. We've kept quiet to Polnareff since he'd probably get excited and let his mouth slip if he knew... But we'll let him know when the time comes. Bradio: ...Thank you for everything. Jotaro: .........Funky Party. Bradio: I'm sorry... Jotaro: ...No, there's no need to apologize. Once you get back to Japan... Keep Mom company for me. ...Your parents are probably worried about you too. We'll definitely take down Dio. Wait for us.
Cascada:(Are you seriously giving up just like that? Come the fuck on.) Bradio:(I kinda just wanted to see what would happen.) Cascada:(Okay, fair, so you did. Get back in there.) Bradio:(Yeah, yeah...)
Joseph: ......I see. Thanks. Abdul: ...However, Dio's assassins are still under the impression that we've lost a teammate... We might be able to use this to our advantage. Why don't we entrust our necessary travel preparations to Funky Party? Joseph: Good idea! We can have him help out without exposing him to whatever dangers surround us. Bradio: But couldn't you just leave that to the Speedwagon Foundation? Joseph: If we did that, we'd make our aims obvious... It'd be far too conspicuous to the enemy. Plus, none of the Foundation members can see Stands... They might run into trouble without a Stand user in tow. Abdul: And of course, if one of us separates, there's no telling what'll happen. Since you no longer exist from the enemy's point of view, you're perfect for the job, Bradio! Joseph: The Foundation will take care of the expenses, so money is no object! You'll pose as a rich tourist and buy something for us. Bradio: Buy what?
Taking Abdul's place like this is referred to as the Submarine Route by fans. Despite my posturing a moment ago and all the other NG+ only stuff in 7SU, you totally can do this on a first playthrough if you want.
Not to admit how I blatantly lied to a loyal reader, but I saved this Cohost screenshot ages ago for exactly this moment:
Did you ever figure it out, I wonder?
Bradio:Oh no. Stroheim: No need to fear, little man! I, Stroheim, will protect you with my life! Whether it's a vampire or a pillarman, I'll blow 'em to smithereens! Same goes for Stand users! Speedwagon: I'll also be accompanying you! I may not be much help in battle, but I've picked up a thing or two in the slums! I'll definitely take back Jonathan's body... That man was a true gentleman! I won't forgive anyone who would dare to use him for their evil gains! Joseph: All right, we're leaving it up to you three. Stay safe. Bradio:Why them, of all people? Joseph:What do you mean? I trusted both of these men with my life back when I was your age! Bradio:Hey Mister Speedwagon, Stroheim, what do you think of me on, say, a racial level? Speedwagon:I hear the Nipponese peoples are quite learned these days! Stroheim:Ein ehrenarier if I ever saw one! Bradio:(well this backfired) Cascada:(Who are you, that do not know your history?) Bradio:(Lay off for once, okay?) Joseph:See? You'll be fine! Bradio:I wish I actually WAS shot in the head...
If you only got Stroheim or didn't find either of the legacy characters, you're joined here by Gallahad (whom we've seen already) and his Romancing SaGa cohort Miriam.
We've still got a cutscene or two before The New Stuff though.
Joseph: We heard about Funky Party. ...We had to bury him in a shallow grave. Kakyoin:May his funky party in the sky never end... Hol Horse: Oh, come on! I didn't mean to kill him! It's J. Geil you want! Honest! Kakyoin: The coward who stabbed Bradio in the back was J. Geil, but this guy's bullet delivered the killing blow. He'd have survived if he hadn't been stabbed, but... What should we do with this guy? Polnareff: I'll lay down the sentence... Death!
Empress in with the save. Again.
I'm sure this will lead to some wacky hijinks that Bradio unfortunately won't be around for. Though I suppose Cascada wasn't either!
Next time, we'll get some completely new content for once! See you again!
