Last time we beat the shit out of a hardcore gamer, as deserved. This time, we begin the final battle with Dio... probably.
We would have battled Vanilla Ice if we'd gone with Polnareff, Abdul, and Iggy. Kenny G's sole appearance in the manga is getting owned by Iggy in a single page; his Stand Tenore Sax produced the island illusion in D'arby's room.
"Nukesaku" is apparently Japanese slang for an idiot or dimwit or what have you. I tried to find more specific information about its etymology but sometimes a one-off tangent just isn't worth it.
Jotaro: ............ Kakyoin: Or perhaps... it's the other way around... Cascada: ......(I should have leveled up Iggy more...) Kakyoin: !! Stop!! There's someone just ahead of us.
Joseph: It's a girl... Girl: Eek! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!! P-please spare me! Don't suck my blood! Pleeease! Aaaahhh!! I'll do anything you ask of me! Just spare my life! Aaaahhh!! Joseph: H-hey... Calm down! Girl: Eeeeeeeeeeeek!! I won't try to escape, I promise! Spare my life... Pleeeeeeeeeassseeeee!! Joseph: I said calm down! We don't work for Dio. We're not vampires, either. Okay!? Girl:Eeeeeeeeeeeek!! An old white man!!!!! Joseph: We're here to help you! We're friends.
Cascada:pfffffffff Kakyoin:-snrk- Jotaro:-frown-
Kakyoin: Hm... Cascada: You bet. Kakyoin:...... Cascada:...... Jotaro:...... Cascada:...-snrk- okay sorry i will try and keep a straight face
Kakyoin: You call having a face on the back of your head an ability? Joseph: When you turn your head backwards... You have to turn your hands the other way, too. Nukesaku: ???????????? Oh! S-shoot! I always forget about that part!
See, so here's where keeping his name as "Nukesaku" ruins the joke that's coming up. I probably would have just had his name be "Moron".
Nukesaku: Hungh!? Jotaro: Oh, so you're immortal? A vampire like Dio? In that case... Let's see how immortal he really is. Joseph: OH! MY GOD!
Nukesaku: Gyaaaaaaa! Jotaro: I see... You really don't die. Still, vampire or no, I can cut you into pieces... Now bring us to Dio. The sun is starting to set... Nukesaku: Y... yessir...
Laugh track, rimshot, et cetera.
Nukesaku: W-wait! Even I can't go in there! Jotaro: Why is that? Nukesaku: The walls are riddled with holes thanks to that stupid Vanilla Ice... I'm a vampire... If I touch the sunlight, I'll disintegrate! S-so I can't show you, see? Joseph: So that's what all those tremors were... Cascada: He must have a lot of power to punch through walls of stone... I hope the others are okay... Kakyoin: Hm... In that case, if we bag you up and carry you, you'll be fine, right? Nukesaku: N-n-no thank you! There's no need for you to go through all that trouble! I couldn't possibly inconvenience you so! Kakyoin: You can't escape, if that was what you were thinking. Grab a curtain from somewhere, guys. Nukesaku: Waaaaaahhh...
I feel like ordinary curtains still would let some light through but on the other hand I guess a vampire's mansion would have the strongest blackout curtains money could buy.
Perhaps we'll see Vanilla Ice's Stand - Cream - in action another time...
Polnareff: S... shut your damn moth already, Dio! I'm not dead yet! I'll only die once I see your Stand! Dio: Hmph! In that case... You'll die right here and now, Polnareff! Joseph: T-that was Polnareff's voice! And... and one other person...! Kakyoin: ...Dio!
While Jotaro's "ORA" (オラ) is just a generic kiai battle cry, Dio's "MUDA" (無駄) is actually a word, meaning "useless" or "futile".
Dio retreats from the sunlight. This sequence also has one of the more memetic panels from the manga:
Kakyoin: That was him! Joseph: That was Dio! Polnareff: I have something to tell you before you go after him! Just now, I experience his Stand for myself... Joseph: !! Polnareff: N-no... I've experienced it, but... I just can't understand what happened... I was trying to climb the stairs, but I always ended up lower than where I started...
All: ......... Jotaro: ...Where are Abdul and Iggy? Polnareff: ...They're... not coming... ...To save me... they... Kakyoin: !!......... Jotaro: ......... Joseph: .........I see... Kakyoin: ......Mr. Joestar... The sun is setting. If we don't hurry... Joseph: ...Yes... We don't know much about Dio, but the fact that he's weak to sunlight remains clear...
I cut out at least three text boxes here that had nothing but "........" in them.
Kakyoin: Is there any other way up besides this staircase? Nukesaku: N-no... Just these stairs... Kakyoin: Then lead the way.
Joseph: Jotaro, The Machine, you take the right of the casket. Polnareff, you take the left! Kakyoin and I will cover the middle. Attack as soon as he comes out. Polnareff:Shouldn't Cascada cover the far end? Joseph:No way. I don't want to be in the line of fire. Polnareff:That makes se- wait, HOLD O- Joseph: Hey, moron... lift the lid. Nukesaku: E-eeeeek...
Dio may be a vampire but he's not like, "vampire classic". There is absolutely no need for him to sleep in a casket other than theatrics. What a drama queen.
Nukesaku: Waaaah... L-Lord Dio... I haven't betrayed you... I showed them in here because I have so much faith in your strength, my lord! Sure as a stream of piss blowing to the side in a strong breeze... Cascada:Uh... Jotaro:Just forget it... Nukesaku: Please understaaaand! It'd just be a nuisance for someone as powerful as you to have to chase these guys down! I brought them here so you crush them! Joseph: Shut the hell up and just open it!! Nukesaku: Lord Dioooo! Bwuh-huh... Get over here and tear them to pieceeees!!
All: !? Kakyoin: What!? Cascada: !!
Polnareff: I told you! It's not hypnosis! It's not super speed! This is what happened to me! Kakyoin: Is this The World!? Jotaro: Son of a bitch... Things are getting interesting. Joseph: Hey! Did any of you see when this idiot got in the casket... No, when someone PUT him in it!? Polnareff: N... no... I didn't see... I was watching carefully the whole time, but before I knew it, he was inside... Kakyoin: Polnareff's right... This isn't something as simple as high speed or optical illusions... No, it's definitely something more...
Polnareff: D-damniiiiiit! Joseph: What are you doing, Polnareff!? Polnareff: God DAMN itttt!!
The sprite work makes it less obvious, but you can see in the .gif that Polnareff is yanked out by Joseph.
Kakyoin: Just what happened back there? We've never encountered a Stand like this before! Even though we didn't get to see it, I have a feeling it's more dreadful than any Stand we've met with thus far... Just like how you know a bulldozer is coming by the sound of the engine! Joseph: This isn't good... This is seriously not good! The sun has set nearly completely! Kakyoin: Dio's time has arrived...!
There are multiple save points throughout the Dio battle. We'll actually be coming back to this one a couple times so I can show off some stuff.
Cascada:I get the feeling I don't have an actual say in the matter. Joseph: As am I, Kakyoin... But things are different now! Even though we've been face-to-face with his Stand... The World... We still have no idea what its powers are... You can't climb a mountain with no clue which way is the top! We're gonna fall flat on our faces!
There are a weird amount of bizarre metaphors during these chapters. I don't know what was up with Araki at the time.
Joseph: Hold it!! Polnareff!! Jotaro: Don't try and stop him, Gramps. Kakyoin: Then what do you suggest, Jotaro!? Jotaro: ...............Polnareff is fighting by pursuing him. We're fighting by avoiding him. In other words... He'll have nowhere to run... Both: !! Kakyoin: ...I see... But I can't help but worry about Polnareff. Would you mind going with him, Jotaro? Jotaro: Hm, you may be right... If we leave him alone, we might try to take Dio on all by himself.
If you're on track for Polnareff's ending, you're forced to join the pursuing party. Anyone else's, you're fleeing. Jotaro's is the only way you get to choose. There are a bunch of variations between these but in practice all it affects is how many chances you get to fight Dio.
For now we're going to join Polnareff and Jotaro pursuing. It's a much shorter sequence and I'll be loading a save next update to do the outer route.
There'd be no need to make a completely different map for a short scene like this, so I am tickled that it's like, maybe twenty tiles away from the previous scene. We're probably still within earshot of Joseph and Kakyoin.
Polnareff: Jotaro... Cascada...! Jotaro: Give me a @#$% break. Cascada: Let's go! Dio's already on his way...
Jotaro:Do you still have that nuclear warhead? Cascada:Obviously. Jotaro:What about the 20 broken lamps? Cascada:Uh, yeah? You're asking really stupid questions all of a sudden, Jojo. Polnareff:But you didn't bring the money!? Cascada:Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't have forced the lady to carry literally everything we own!
There are no opportunities to buy anything at all once you enter Dio's mansion, so the amount of money you have is no consequence. A funny bit of writing, I think.
Jotaro: I can feel Dio's dark energy growing more and more distant... He must be following Gramps and Kakyoin now. They're going to the outskirts of town... So I guess we are too. Polnareff: !! What's that!? An accident!? Cascada: T-this couldn't be... Jotaro: ...Looks like Dio's doing. Must've mowed down those pedestrians to get to Gramps faster... Polnareff: Hurry, Jotaro!
Cascada: The roof? How did they get up there...? Jotaro: Gramps and Kakyoin can use their Stand like a rope, so they must've climbed up that way... And Dio probably just jumped. C'mon, after 'em. Polnareff: Uh, how exactly!? Jotaro: It's not that big of a climb... We can use our Stands to push off the ground and walls. Cascada:My Stand is just an arm cannon, dude. Jotaro:Point it at the ground. Like when Goku boosted with Kamehameha. Cascada:And vaporize the street? Jotaro:Like you give a shit. Cascada:...fair.
Jotaro: Polnareff. Cascada. Follow them to the roof. I'll go on ahead. That way, we'll have him cornered... Polnareff: G-got it... Okay, Jotaro! But be careful! Jotaro: You're the last person I wanna hear that from...
The two routes mostly sync up here, so it's time to cut! Next time, we'll rewind and see what happens when we run away. See you again!
