Last time we did a boss rush and proved Cascada's superiority against all those with Tarot-card Stands. This time, I'm going to suffer and admit defeat.
No more overworld after this. It's the home stretch.
Joseph: Watch out, Polnareff... Someone could attack at any minute. Polnareff: ...!? Hey... Look!
Polnareff: Look at this hallway! I can't see the end of it... Is it some kind of optical illusion? Joseph: Don't rush headlong into danger, Polnareff... Dio probably has at least 1 or 2 Stand users guarding him. Jotaro: !! Abdul: What!? Something's coming!!
Polnareff: Who's this freak? He's definitely not normal! Can we just kill him!? Joseph: Polnareff! Let's not jump to conclusions. Kakyoin:Mr. Joestar, perhaps Dio's mansion is a location where blanket judgements might be appropriate? D'arby: My name is D'arby... Terence T. D'arby. I'm the younger brother of the D'arby you fellows incapacitated not long ago. Jotaro: !! D'arby: Now... Shall we make our way inside? Please, take off your jackets. Jotaro:It ain't coming off, asshole. D'arby:It's quite warm... but suit yourself. Joseph: You mean you're that gambler's... D'arby's brother!? Cascada:The chocolate fucker? D'arby:-sigh- The very same. Abdul: Are you out for revenge!?
D'arby: Besides... He's 10 years my elder. I respect him greatly, but we're from a different era. D'arby:I'm firmly Gen X, not a doddering boomer. Joseph:I didn't get rescued by a squad of Nazis with flashlights during the War to take lip from you, kid. D'arby: His way was to cheat people in order to win... That's a thing of the past! Only amateurs would be taken in by such trickery. Lord Dio knew as much himself! That's why I'm the one who stays in the mansion with him. Both: .........
Abdul: Don't fall for it, everyone! This has to be a trap! Jotaro: We don't have time to fight for our souls... Take us to Dio. Now. D'arby: ......... Joseph: Jotaro! Be careful! Something's coming out! Jotaro:I'M the only one who gets to whi-
Polnareff: Woah... Woah! He brought out his Stand! Joseph: Don't see that a lot. Abdul: Been a while since we met an enemy who brings their Stand out right in front of us. Iggy:hmph Cascada:(I know. Down, boy.) D'arby: So? Who's my first challenger? Polnareff: This is getting boring! Jotaro, just kick his ass!
Jotaro: !! Iggy: !? Kakyoin: ...!! D'arby: The first punch will be with your left. That's my bet. Polnareff: Jotaro! Who cares what fist you hit him with!? You can take him out in one punch with your strength! Just do it! Hurry! Jotaro: Ora!!
Joseph: What!? H-he dodged it! Abdul: Impossible... He was able to match Star Platinum's speed! Polnareff: He's shockingly fast! Jotaro: (No... it's not just his speed! Normally, he wouldn't be able to match mine... He dodged before I even swung at him... Which means!! He knew I was going to attack with my right!! Even though he bet on my left fist, he knew I was going to hit with my right! Why...!?)
Jotaro: ! What!? A hole... Abdul: Damn! It really was a trap! It's going to pull us in...
Kakyoin:Hierophant Green! Joseph: Jotaro fell in! We have to pull him out!
This determines if we spend the next leg of the game with the Jotaro/Joseph/Kakyoin or Abdul/Polnareff/Iggy. For now, we'll go with the Joestars.
Abdul: Wait, Polnareff! It's too dangerous to go after them! Joseph: Abduuuuul! Can you hear meeee!? Abduuuuul! Abdul: ! That's Mr. Joestar's voice! He's talking while in freefall! Joseph: If you don't hear from us in 10 minutes... Burn this mansion down! Got it? Abduuuuuul... Abdul: Mr. Joestaaaaaaar!!
We fade in on...
Joseph: Is this place inside the mansion? D'arby: It is. Joseph: ......Where exactly? D'arby: That I cannot tell you. Joseph: Is it underground? D'arby: Perhaps... Joseph: ...Is it a Stand that's causing this? D'arby: Yes. Joseph: Is it your Stand? D'arby: No. Joseph: Then is it Dio's? D'arby: No. Joseph: Then whose? D'arby: You don't need to know. Joseph: The Speedwagon Foundation's intel stated that there are 2 or 3 other Stand users inside the mansion. Is that true? D'arby: You don't need to know. Joseph:Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? D'arby:Cascada stole the cookies from the cookie jar... Cascada:What? Me? Jotaro:It -would- be you... Cascada:Fuck off Jojo. I would eat the ones in our collective burlap sack. Joseph:...then who? D'arby:...You don't need to know. Joseph: There sure is a lot I don't need to know. D'arby: Would you rather I lie? I don't like to resort to lies and tricks like my brother... Jotaro: ......Hmph.
These kinds of exchanges are part of why the D'arby brothers are so popular. Like I said last time, when a villain is almost completely forthcoming with information and their own abilities, it makes it more satisfying when the heroes beat them at their own game.
Joseph: Have you forgotten that there's 4 of us and 1 of you? And may I add that we're in bit of a hurry? Cascada:We only have 20 days left... D'arby: Rushing me isn't a good idea. There's something I'd like to show you first... My brother showed you his, too, did he not? Please direct your attention to my collection... Kakyoin: !? Joseph: Collection...!?
Cascada: T-these dolls...! Jotaro: It can't be... Kakyoin: Why is he showing these to us!? Joseph: No, Kakyoin... The D'arby's don't collect normal objects! These aren't any old dolls!
D'arby: Hm hm hm hm... Joseph: OH MY GOD... Kakyoin: They're alive...... T-these dolls are alive! Jotaro: You... you sick freak... Their souls... Cascada: Are they in the dolls...!? D'arby: My hobby is crafting dolls. Then, I infuse them with the souls of real people. Actually, pardon my spoiling the surprise, but that's my Stand Atum's ability. Cascada:New rule: anyone with a doll-related Stand is kill on sight. No exceptions.
D'arby: Dr. Elliot here is a mass murderer... He killed 8 of his patients. His murder stories are a blast to listen to. I made the glasses and doctor's tools myself. This Japanese boy, Tatsuhiko, has an IQ of 190. He was a tough one to beat... a video game master! But eventually, I wore him down. Kakyoin:(Not as much of a master as I, certainly...) Tatsuhiko: Mamaaaaa... Mamaaaaa... Joseph: These brothers are insane...! No... You're far worse than him! You disgust me! Kakyoin: Even though you pose as a gentleman, you're the worst kind of slime out there. Cascada: I'll beat you to a pulp... Jotaro: .........
I should have kept a "text box gaffe" tally. Alas.
Joseph: !! Kakyoin: What!? D'arby: Jotaro... When I predicted your attack, you were shocked, to say the least, yes? Even now, you're still asking yourself "how did he read my moves"! Jotaro: ......... Cascada: So what's your point!? D'arby: Well... while you didn't admit defeat exactly... You were quite rattled. There was a tiny, tiny weak spot in your soul... And just a bit, I was able to touch it... Then... Can you guess what's next? Jotaro: !!
Kakyoin: W-what!? Joseph: What!? There's... there's a hand inside Jotaro's arm! D'arby: My Atum's arm has burrowed its way into your skin. If I were to break your arm now, Lord Dio would likely be pleased... But the second I did so, all 3 of you would beat the daylights out of me. ...I can't have that.
Joseph: What!? Cascada: V-video games!? Kakyoin: ......!! Jotaro: Give me a break... You really do have me where you want me. Cascada: Jotaro! Jotaro: This guy seems to really want to get his hands on our souls... That hand under my skin doesn't hurt, or really feel like anything at all... but I can tell it has the strength to twist my arm right off. This one's gonna be a pain.
Jotaro: Video games, huh... Kakyoin:At last, my time to shine! Jotaro: I don't know how good you are at these, but you have something your brother didn't... Some kind of hidden talent. Somehow, you knew that I was going to hit you with my right fist. But still, I don't wanna lose my arm to you, so...
D'arby: Once I've taken your and your grandpa's souls, they might decide to beat me up anyway... Cascada:...he's got a point. D'arby: I suppose Kakyoin is fine, too... But since Cascada has nothing to do with Lord Dio either, the risk is higher. Joseph: You have a lot of demands, don't you? You think you've already won... Kakyoin:Looks like it's my t- Cascada: Fine... I'll be your first opponent. Kakyoin:-sigh- Joseph: What!? Jotaro: The Machine!
Do you, Cascada? Because I sure fucking don't!
Jotaro: The Machine!! There's no need for you to go first. Kakyoin: That's right! I know plenty about video games. Just let me switch in! Cascada: That's all the less reason for you to go... We need to figure out what his "hidden ability" is before we have a fair chance. I don't have overwhelming confidence in my gaming abilities, but I should be able to hold him off for a while... That'll give Kakyoin time to plan. Kakyoin: !! B-but that'd just make you a sacrifice! You saw those dolls, right!? Do you want that to happen to you!? Joseph:This wouldn't even be the f- Cascada:-glare- Joseph:Ahem. Nothing. Cascada: If my soul is taken, I have faith that everyone will be able to get it back... This is the role I've chosen. Kakyoin: D'arby! If you lose, do you swear to release Jotaro's arm? D'arby: ............ Joseph: Kakyoin. Once he's completely admitted defeat in his heart, the hand will let go... The elder D'arby's Stand was the same. That's how their Stands' power works...
I mentioned this moment waaay back in Update 3. The good ol' days.
I fucking hate F-MEGA.
fuck you, did you even playtest this shit
I don't even try. It isn't worth the effort.
You're supposed to be able to unlock a super speed cheat if you manage to squeeze in and talk to the guy on the track, but I think that might only be in the version back at home.
oh noooooooo
D'arby: I'm gonna take extra good care of it so I can play with it for a looong time... Joseph: The Machine~!!!
???:* ...Help ussss.... ???:* ...It's dark... Mamaaa... Cascada: T-these voices... are... I... see... I... lost... I'm... inside the collection case... Will Mr. Joestar and the others... be okay? I ended up not being very useful... Will... I... ever... get out.... of here...?
Cascada:Wait, I thought you were Mister Genius Gamer out here, how the hell did you lose? Kakyoin:I... I don't want to talk about it...
By losing earlier we also skip the "actual" battle... except we would also skip it if we won. I'm not sure the manga version of events is even in the game at all!
Kakyoin also plays F-MEGA and gets his ass beat. Jotaro steps up to plate next with a baseball video game, and does a terrible job for eight innings. It turns out that D'arby's soul-snatching Stand also gives him a limited form of telepathy, where he can discern people's true intentions as long as he feeds them a yes-or-no question.
Jotaro starts winning, his thoughts no longer matching with his actions. D'arby can tell that Jotaro is cheating, but can't figure out how... until he admits defeat in his heart.
D'arby: S-something this stupid... was the cheat!? The game was controlled... not by Jotaro... But by you!? Joseph Joestar!? Jotaro: That's right, D'arby. If it were your brother, he would've noticed immediately... By the way, Gramps... I'm impressed that you were able to catch on to my idea without me signaling you or anything. Joseph: I can always tell what's on your mind! I'm your granddad, after all! Jotaro:We met for the first time last month... Joseph:So what! Kakyoin: M-mmm... Cascada: Uggghhh.... Joseph: Are you still with us, Kakyoin? Jotaro: Get up, The Machine. We've got places to be.
D'arby: P... please have mercy! I beg you! Aiieeee! They're both back to normal! Everything's fine now, right!? So you'll l-l-let me go!? Jotaro: If you want the answer, why don't you just read my thoughts with your Stand? Here's a question... Which fist will I hit you with? My left? Or my right? ...Take a guess. D'arby: W-well... It's your right... right!?
Joseph: I knew it! This illusion world is inside the mansion... Let's climb through there! Jotaro! Kakyoin! The Machine! Cascada: ? Is this... a wine cellar? Joseph: Hm? The illusion disappeared... Jotaro: ......? Kakyoin: What happened...?
Cascada:Maybe I'll help myself to a bit of wine first... Joseph:No time! Let's go! Cascada:Oh, fine.
