Last time, we finished off Karachi by raiding two different mansions belonging to two different creeps. This time, we begin the journey to Saudi Arabia.
Offscreen, I raided Joey's mansion with each other party member. Everyone's at minimum Level 28 now.
Cascada:I never knew how much I'd miss killing things after a mere 48 hours. Polnareff:I'm so glad that ship had a western-style toilet. Kakyoin:Did you have to also SLEEP in the lavatory, though? Polnareff:You don't know what I've been holding in, Kakyoin...
Joseph: In Tokyo, they'd fetch 30 or 40 billion on the market easily. These kinds of houses must be pretty typical for people here... 20 years ago, this place was nothing but desert, but it's exploded with the recent spike in oil prices. Now, it's like something out of a dream! Cascada: By the way... Do I really have to wear this cloak?
I have no idea how true either of these statements are, whether in the 80s or now. It's a bit of an odd detail to include in the game, because by the time you regain control of the party it's automatically unequipped anyway. All this means in a practical sense is that a few cutscenes will have a unique sprite for Cascada.
Joseph: If anyone asks, you're my daughter! Cascada:If Jojo calls me "auntie", I'm gonna start blasting. Kakyoin:On that note, I hope Jotaro's extremely attractive mother is doing well... Jotaro:Give me a @#S% break... Cascada: (I guess it'll be more trouble than it's worth if I don't put it on...)
Kakyoin: N-no, just enjoying the view... If anyone were tailing us, we'd know. Honestly, I'm just looking back out of habit... Polnareff: Yeah, I know what you mean... We've been attacked by so many Stand users lately that I've been super on-edge! Cascada:With you around, no bathroom is safe... Polnareff:Don't jinx me, Cascada! Joseph: All right, I think I've worked out our route from now on.
Joseph: I can pilot it myself, of course! It's a good plan, right? All:NO IT ISN'T! Joseph:Why not!? This should work out perfectly!
Joseph: .................Hmph! Fine. In that case, we'll use Plan B... We'll use camels! It'll take about a day. Polnareff: Camels!? Hey, I'm fine with the plane! I've never ridden a camel before! Joseph: Heh heh heh heh! Relax! I know all about riding camels! I'll teach you how!
Cascada:Just because I'm the only one here who showers regularly doesn't mean I'm carrying around air fresheners. Polnareff:What about that rouge I gave you? Cascada:...do you even understand what rouge is??
"Cascada, you have to wear a chador while in Saudi Arabia... okay, now let's get on camels and cross the desert alone! You still have to wear it, though!"
Jokes aside, it might actually be preferable in this kind of situation just to stay cool.
Polnareff: Are you sure you've done this before? Joseph: H-heh heh heh... I told you, let me handle this! I've seen Lawrence of Arabia 3 times! ...Although I fell asleep halfway through 2 times out of the 3... Polnareff: What, a movie!? So you really haven't ridden one!
I've never seen Lawrence of Arabia myself. I suppose I'm uncultured or something. Or just not British.
Jotaro:Sounds fake. Cascada:You've said a lot of dumb things, but this is the most bullshit of them all. Joseph:I didn't go to Venice and climb a massive oil-coated spire with my best friend to take lip from you, kid.
Joseph: Look! It sat down! You've gotta give it what it wants! Heh heh heh!
My understanding is they're covered to retain as much moisture as possible when exhaling. Camels are the most hydrated of mammals.
Joseph: ......S-so, make sure not to resist the rhythm like I just did, and you'll be fine! Kakyoin:Are you saying to treat the camel like a woman? Polnareff:Oh, now I get it! Heh heh! Jotaro:......Give me a @#S% break......
Insert comedy sting here as we fade out and back in.
Kakyoin: .........I just can't shake the feeling that we're being watched... Polnareff: Kakyoin, don't be so jumpy! We're sweeping our tracks with palm fronds, and we can see everything clearly within a couple of miles. Jotaro: No... I've actually had the same feeling. Joseph: Why don't you take a look, Jotaro? Jotaro: All right... I'll use Star Platinum's vision.
Joseph: Anything out of the ordinary...? Jotaro: No... I didn't see anything... And yet... something feels off. Cascada:When was the last time you drank some water? Jotaro:Dunno. Polnareff:He's just saving it for when he really needs it!
(Disclaimer: DO NOT DO THIS. If you're dying of thirst in the middle of the desert you should just drink your damn water. It won't help you if it's not in your body.)
Joseph: Well, it is the hottest time of day.
I was in downtown Los Angeles for Anime Expo in 2018 and the temperatures were hitting something like 115-120 Fahrenheit (47-50ish Centigrade). That's "drinking water all day and you never piss once" weather right there. Funnily enough, I was in line for a JoJo panel at the time; not because I was there for JoJo, but because it was before the panel I actually wanted to see (the Studio Trigger panel where they premiered SSSS.Gridman.)
Jotaro: 8:10......!? Cascada:Did Steely Dan mess up your TAG Heuer? Kakyoin:That's unthinkable! No Stand user could defeat precision Swiss engineering! Joseph: I-I should've been paying attention! What's going on!? It's past 8, and yet...! Why isn't the sun going down!?
Jotaro: It must be a Stand!! Cascada: B-but it's huge! Polnareff: How is that possible!? We're smack in the middle of the desert! If the sun keeps shining like this all day... I mean, all night... We'll fry up like a bunch of eggs! Joseph: It won't take nearly that long! Even in a sauna, you can't stay in more than 30 minutes or you'll be in danger!
Okay, obviously high temperatures will fuck you up regardless, but the reason a sauna can get dangerous is that the high humidity prevents your sweat from evaporating. That means your body can't regulate its temperature at all and you overheat much quicker.
Jotaro: ...The quickest way is to beat up the user. Joseph: The user has to be close... We've got to find him... I don't know how they evaded our sight in this wide open desert, but there's got to be a trick to it... Polnareff: Wait, Mr. Joestar! What if it's like the Lovers Stand we met in Pakistan!? He could be controlling it from far away! Joseph: No, that's not possible! Only weak Stands can be controlled at that kind of distance... And it's clear to see that this "sun" consumes a lot of energy. The user must be close!
Later Parts of JoJo establish exceptions to this rule in the form of "Automatic" Stands. The idea behind those is that while they can maintain high power levels while far away from the user, they cannot be controlled directly and only carry out basic, pre-set tasks. At least one player Stand has some of these characteristics.
You can only help out Kakyoin here if you have a Long-range Stand. Quicksilver fits the bill, so time to start blasting.
Jotaro: ...! Shit, something's wrong! Kakyoin! Bring back your Hierophant! Hurry! It's doing something!
We experienced the "Mummy" status effect against Black Eyed Peas in Update 15. It's just a regular HP-draining effect, but it can't be removed with the usual status curatives.
The Sun is actually pretty tough, because it does these moves automatically each turn on top of shooting you with Sun Lasers (yep, just like Cascada's). So you're taking damage over time on top of getting blinded or dizzied every turn, limited to your multi-target attacks.
It becomes a real slugfest, not helped by the low hit rate of Cardiac Massage (the universal revival skill). It sucks to spend three turns trying to get someone back up while eating hits to the face.
Actually I think I would rather hoard Phoenix Down than have this be the way to revive people. Ugh.
Sure, Master Roshi and Piccolo each blew up the moon, but Cascada just blew up the sun. Even Goku couldn't blow up the sun! He blasted Cooler into it and everything and the sun was fine!
Editor's Note: Noriaki Kakyoin's contributions or lack thereof towards this feat would be discussed by future historians for decades.
Polnareff: Ahh, I see! He was reflecting the sand's image, so we didn't notice him tailing us. Kakyoin: And look! The space behind the mirror is pretty comfortable. There's even an air conditioner. Cascada: Not to mention a cooler and a water tank... He must've had a pleasant time driving this thing. Jotaro:Any beers in there? Cascada:Nothing but plain seltzer. Bastard...
A neat detail here: the mirror is fully intact. If you fled from the battle and defeated The Sun via cutscene - where Jotaro figures out the trick and pitches a rock to take out the user - the mirror is accordingly broken.
Like so. I won't show the whole alternate version like I did with Emperor and Hanged Man this time - that was a special occasion - but I do recommend watching the anime version of The Sun. It's episode 18 of the Stardust Crusaders season and contains a particularly high concentration of Joseph screaming swear words in English.
Jotaro: The Sun was a pretty fierce opponent... Unfortunately, once we saw through his trick, he was just another idiot. Heh heh heh... Kakyoin: All right, let's continue on. The desert's actually pretty cold at night... Polnareff: No kidding... A-atchooooo!! Cascada:Oh, if we have to...
What a lovely brisk update before a couple of bigguns; I'd better enjoy my lighter workload while I can. See you again!
